"Where are You, Lord?" A question asked by Martha, Mary, and Me

I would like to thank everyone who has been praying for me and our family after our loss.  I have been especially praying for God to "show up"... to assure me that He is here and that He is still in control of the universe... and my life here on earth.

To help in my healing process, I have started bereavement counseling with a Christian counselor.  My counselor invited me to join a Thursday-morning Bible study with him and five other men.  

Yesterday was my first time in the Bible study... and the chapter for the day was John 11... where Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead.  Ironically... or perhaps God-ordained... the study focused on how we deal with the death of a loved one.

I sat through the discussion half-numbed as the younger-than-I men in the group talked about loss of a parent or parents.  Not the same as losing a helpmate, I thought.  Then, the "aha moment" came for me when I remembered that Dianne had given a message on that very passage in the Bible we were studying.  

Last evening, I found the recorded message and listened to the sound advice given to Dianne through the Holy Spirit.  Even from heaven, Dianne was preaching to me and encouraging me during this time when it seems that God is silent.

I highly recommend the message.  I've posted it on our Big Family Mission website.  And, you can listen to it here:  God...Where Are You?  (I have never posted an audio file on our website before, so if you have problems listening to it, can you let me know?)

This morning, I decided to try to find a new book or two to read to help me in my healing process.  I went to the bookshelves in our home office... and immediately was drawn to a book that I had never seen before.  A book with the title:  "Why?  Trusting God When You Don't Understand", written by Anne Graham Lotz.

I thought to myself:  "Dianne must have bought this book at some time, and I have just never noticed it before.  Wow... glad that it showed up at this time!"

When I opened the book, the first thing that I noticed was that the book jacket was on the book upside down.  I said to myself: "Well, I know Dianne never read this book... because she would have never placed it back on the shelf with the cover upside down!"

When I read the first words in the Foreword of the book, I immediately began crying.  Those first words:  

"This book is based on the following portion of God's Word:  'Now a man named Lazarus was sick.  He was from Bethany..."

The book that God had so graciously drawn me to was based on that same chapter in the Bible we had studied the day before and the message from Dianne I had listened to the night before.

Thank you, Lord, for your Love for me during this time of deep hurt!