Remembering when Dianne looked forward to receiving the next issue of Gourmet and Bon Appetit magazine in the mail; anyone interested in rescuing boxes of back issues from the trash?

Remember when Gourmet and Bon Appetit were source for many recipes?

   By the way, Dianne wasn't perfect... but, she was really good at a lot of things... including cooking.  Although in more recent years, we ate mostly salads... at one time, she was an ardent collector of new recipes and liked to try them out on me!  Of course, I was always more than willing to be her "taste tester".  When a meal was really great (which was quite often)... I would always say..."Put that one on the menu!"
   For many years, we subscribed to Gourmet and Bon Appetit magazines... and for whatever reason... we held onto a lot of the back copies... which haven't been touched in over 10 years.
   I am now preparing to trash them, but thought I would check to see if there are any "old magazine" or "old recipe" collectors out there who would like to have several boxes of magazines full of recipes for culinary delights.
   If anyone has interest, let me know?

Dianne's prayer closet: it was a part of her daily life and her fiber art creations. "Prayer Closet III" going to Flint, MI

Dianne's fiber art piece, "Prayer Closet III", was displayed at Sacred Threads 2013 down in Virginia.  Next week, it will be on its way to Flint, Michigan!

   Dianne liked to pray!  Her personal "prayer closet" was her rocking chair situated right in her fiber art studio.  For as long as I can remember... unless she was very sick... Dianne was in that chair first thing in the morning after her shower and washing her hair.  She wouldn't like me telling this, but... she

This was Dianne's personal "prayer closet".
Unfortunately, no photos of Dianne in her
"prayer turban" were allowed.

wrapped her hair in a towel and let it dry while she was praying.  She indeed had a unique "head covering" as her prayers went up to God.
   She liked to journal her prayers... and when I read her prayer journals... I can see that her prayers often went up to God about all of our family, our church family, our friends, and our orphan ministry.
   Dianne completed three fiber art pieces in her "Prayer Closet" series.  The third was completed last year, and was juried into the 2013 Sacred Threads Exhibition.
   The First Presbyterian Church in Flint, Michigan, invited Dianne and others whose fiber art appeared in Sacred Threads, to send their creations out to Michigan to be viewed and enjoyed by their church members from September 7-28.  The artwork will also be included in the Flint Festival of Quilts September 11-13... and the Second Friday Art Walk on September 12.   
   When Dianne created "Prayer Closet III", she wished to depict the prayers "bubbling up" to God.  Can you see them going up in her creation?
    Daily devotions and prayers were an essential part of Dianne's daily life... and in her teachings, she often encouraged others to find a "prayer closet" and make praying a daily discussion with God.
   Do you have a prayer closet?

Walking through the door of grief: remembering how much Dianne appreciated a little box of coconut clusters

Remembering today... how much Dianne appreciated
those little boxes of coconut clusters!

To put it mildly, I have a passionate dislike for "going shopping"!

However, I have discovered during the past year or two how easy it is to order things on line... and have them delivered directly to our home.  Somebody does the shopping for me... and delivers it directly to my doorstep!

Dianne thought I was a little bit extreme when I started ordering our favorite coffee from Walmart.  The specific type we liked wasn't available in our local supermarkets... I could buy the coffee at a great price... and if I ordered enough... delivery was free!

I tried it ... and it worked perfectly... so that's how we started buying our coffee online from Walmart.

On the second or third order, I noticed that Walmart also had available the little Russell Stover coconut clusters that Dianne liked so much... so I ordered a box of the candy along with the coffee.  Of course... I didn't mention the candy part of the order to Dianne.

When our order arrived, and Dianne opened the package, you would have thought that I had given her the most expensive and exotic gift in the world!  She was so happy to get that little box of coconut clusters.

So, all future orders, included both coffee and coconut clusters!

This box (in the photo above) was still sitting on the shelf in one of our bookcases... and when I saw it today... I had to cry.

I have recently read several places that we have to go through the door of grief... we cannot go around it.  

Today's door was this box of Dianne's favorite candy.

Remembering Dianne as I return from my first trip away from home without her by my side

Dianne and I loved to travel together.  One of our most memorable trips was to Italy, where we were able to meet Dianne's cousins, the part of her family who remained in Italy when three of the brothers in the family decided to come to America in early 1900s.  Most of the family still lives in or near the tiny village of Pugnetto.

I just returned home from a very nice visit with daughter Angie and family in East Tennessee.  Also, was delighted to spend some time with my sister Kim.
Dianne and I always enjoyed traveling together... but always enjoyed coming back home.  Of course, this visit without her by my side was quite different.

What I missed most:

• Dianne's packing.  She was an expert, and I always knew that she would remember everything, and everything would be packaged perfectly for the trip;
• Praying with Dianne in the car before we started out to the airport;
• Holding Dianne's hand as the plane took off;
• Holding Dianne's hand when the plane hit turbulence;
• Holding Dianne's hand when the plane landed;
• Dianne by my side at family meals;
• Dianne by my side at church;

I was actually doing pretty well at holding back the tears until I came upon the first "down escalator" of my trip on the way back home.  Dianne could not handle "down escalators"... they made her feel dizzy... and so we always took the elevators in airports.  

There were no "down escalators" on my trip down to Tennessee, but I had to handle three on the way home.  Each brought back old memories of wonderful times traveling together with Dianne.  We will always remember the time when we were in Russia, and had to take public transportation (the subway) to get some of the children back to the orphanage.  The entrance area to the subway was jam-packed, and as we were hurrying along with the children all around us, we suddenly came upon the longest, deepest, steepest down escalator I have ever seen in my life.  When the children realized that Dianne was somewhat panic-stricken, they literally surrounded her like a huge human shield, holding her safely and securely until we reached the bottom of the escalator.

Coming back home, I was full of mixed emotions.  Glad to be coming home, but not glad to be coming home to an empty house.

I pulled into the garage, stopped the car, and proceeded to bawl my eyes out.  Then, I heard Shabby meowing from the kitchen... and it was time to stop crying and feed the cat.

Going through some difficult times? take 5 minutes to listen to this audio clip and be blessed!

I posted on Facebook today about how I was really blessed when I started my car to drive into town today.

God gave me the message I needed to hear at the exact time I needed to hear it.

Thank you, Lord!  Praise you, Lord!

Post by Kenneth Dockery.

Remembering Dianne: her love for orphans of Russia, India, and around the world

All the children in Russia enjoyed having their photos taken with Dianne.  Slaviana (foreground) and Dima in the background are two of the first orphan children we met in Russia.

Our July Big Family Mission newsletter was published in memoriam to Dianne.  If you didn't see a copy, you can view it here:  Big Family News July 2014.

Dianne and I founded Big Family Mission to orphans and made our first trip to Russia in 2003.  We made a dozen or so trips to visit our "big family" in Russia over the years when Dianne was still able to travel long distances.

Slaviana, in the photo above, was eventually taken into the foster family of Max and Ira Mokichev that Big Family helped support for many years.  She became very active in her local church, completed her education, and now has her own family.

Unfortunately, the last time we saw Dima he had graduated from the orphanage, and was battling alcoholism.  His sister had been adopted into a family in the USA when Dima was very young, and he had no family in Russia.  Without the support system of a family, it is very difficult for an orphan to make it in the world.  Through Big Family, Dima did know about his heavenly Father... and we continue to pray that he eventually found his way to the Lord.

Big Family Mission continues to help and minister to Russian orphans through the ministry of Natasha Kirillova and Help for Children.  You can read more about the ministry here: Help for Children in St. Petersburg, Russia.  

Or, on Big Family Mission's website here:  Big Family Ministry.

Have you joined Big Family on Facebook?  If not, please take a look at our page and give us a LIKE?  Here:  Big Family on Facebook.

His and Her Adirondack Chairs Bring Back Memories of How We Much We Enjoyed Just Sitting in the Garden and Talking

My chair and Dianne's chair in our garden.... I can almost imagine them having a conversation about the garden... and what we might do next year

Our good friend Pat is quite the artist when it comes to gardening and landscaping.  A couple of years back, Pat made these adirondack chairs for us, one for Dianne and one for me.

The chairs spend the winter in storage in our garden shed, but come out in the spring (thanks to Pat) to take up a new spot in our back yard.

With all that had been going on with Dianne being in the hospital and then in hospice here at home, I had forgotten about the chairs.  Then, one day shortly after Dianne's going home to the Lord, I looked out my office window... and there they were.

My first reaction was:  I cannot stand seeing the chairs sitting there in the garden... we need to move them somewhere out of site... or maybe just leave them in storage.

But then I remembered how the chairs are really a symbol and remembrance of how Dianne and I used to enjoy just sitting and talking with each other in the garden.

One day when I was feeling really brave, I went out and sat in one of the chairs... and imagined for just a few minutes that Dianne was there by my side, commenting on all the flowers... how the zucchinis and squash are growing so fast... "it will soon be time to harvest the garlic"... and "look at the figs on the fig tree!"

I imagined I took her hand for a few minutes... and that she was able to tell me about lawns and gardens that are "exceeding abundantly  beyond everything that I can ask or think."

Dianne enjoyed so much the beauty that God granted to us here on earth.  How much more she must be full of joy in heaven, basking in  the Light and Love and Beauty of the home that Jesus had prepared for her!

Enjoying an unexpected treat: the last bowl of Dianne's black bean soup... she added the jalapenos and I added the tears

A bowl of Dianne's black bean soup was a special treat on a difficult evening

As I was rummaging through the freezer compartment of our refrigerator, I decided to pitch a few things that had been there for longer than I can remember.

One of the items I almost pitched was this container of black bean soup that Dianne had apparently saved for me the last time she prepared this tasty dish.

I was about to pitch it, because I wasn't sure what it was. Then, I opened it and saw the diced jalapenos that Dianne had carefully placed on the top of the soup before she froze it.  Aha... it has to be black bean soup.

Dianne's artistic talents flowed into her cooking skills.  Most of her meals were culinary "masterpieces".  When I really, really enjoyed one of her meals, I would always say:  "Put that on the menu!"

Dianne's black bean soup was definitely on the menu!
It seemed a bit strange eating the soup that Dianne had so lovingly prepared for me.  And, of course, I was soon spicing up the soup with my tears.

Thank you, Dianne, for remembering that someday I would be needing a special meal.  Thank you for the delicious bowl of black bean soup... and your special touch of jalapenos on top!

It was by far the best and most appreciated bowl of soup I have ever eaten!  

Remembering today how Dianne always insisted that I buy beautiful postage stamps for her

Just a few of Dianne's "beautiful stamps"

As I placed a stamp on an envelope today, I was reminded of how Dianne always requested that I buy "beautiful stamps" when I went to the Post Office.

Just one problem with buying beautiful stamps:  then Dianne didn't want to use them because they were so beautiful!

Apparently (you can see in the photo above), art quilts were featured on first class stamps back when first class postage was 39 cents.  The art quilt stamps are so beautiful and special that... I think I will just hold onto them and cherish them as a memory of Dianne's love for the art and beauty in everything... including postage stamps!

Remembering how Dianne spoiled her "baby boy"... Shabby Shy... our beloved cat!

Shabby Shy takes a nap on the deck as I am grilling... but then
he suddenly woke up when it was time to eat!

Shabby Shy (our cat) loves it when I grill out.  For him, it means:  "a treat is coming my way!"

After I had grilled some turkey and pork this week, I sat outside on the beautiful day and had dinner... with Shabby by my side of course.

As I picked off little pieces of turkey to feed Shabby, I remembered how Dianne had spoiled him this way.  My official "rule" was always:  "no food for Shabby unless it is in his dish!"

But, Dianne enjoyed throwing little scraps of food (especially cheese, Shabby's favorite) and watching him run to gobble them down.  Then, after she had thrown him 3 or 4 pieces, she would pretend to throw out another... and always got a laugh when Shabby would try to chase and find the morsel that didn't exist.  Of course, then she would give him the "real thing"... and the ritual would start over again.

Shabby is officially Dianne's cat.  She prayed him into our life.  The female tiger cat that we had for 18 years became very ill... and just walked out into our woods one day... never to come back.  That was in 2003.  

Dianne and I cried for several days over the loss of our long-time friend and companion... and then, Dianne decided we needed to get a kitten.  I told her:  "If you want another cat, you have to pray, and if one shows up on our deck... we'll take her in."

Two weeks later, Shabby (just a few days old), his mother, and his brother (also a kitten) showed up on our deck.  I think Dianne had been expecting a petite and fluffy white female kitten.  Instead, God gave us Shabby Shy... a Maine Coon boy!  Shabby's mother and brother were so feral that we could never get them to stay in our house... but Shabby was so shy that he hid in our basement for weeks and we had to leave food for him that he ate when we were not around.

Dianne finally coaxed him upstairs.  She did this over a period of about 10 days... one step at a time.  First day, she sat on the bottom step and persuaded Shabby to come and take food from her hand.  Next day... second step.  Next day, third step.  Finally, he made it to the top of the stairs!  I remember how excited she was to tell me when I came home from work that day.

Dianne was never allowed to have pets as a child.  She had a special love for her Shabby Shy... her baby boy. 

Yes, Shabby Shy is still missing his mommy.

Remembering today how Dianne saw the beauty in almost everything in the world around her: especially an old barn

One of a hundred or so photos Dianne took of an old barn near our home

Dianne had the incredible ability to see art and beauty in almost everything in God's wonderful creation.

As I was driving by an old barn near our home today, I remembered how Dianne would often have me stop the car so she could get out and photograph the latest changes in the barn's structure.

Dianne had also had an amazing memory for details of her childhood.  She could remember what color of dress she was wearing and what it looked like when she went for the first day of school in the third grade.  (I cannot remember if I was ever in the third grade!)

I guess this ability comes with being an artist.

Here's a photo of the barn (or what's left of it) that Dianne took last year...

And... finally... here's a photo of one of the fiber art pieces that Dianne made, using the barn photos as reference.  It's entitled "Barn Art I"

Thank you, Dianne, for seeing the beauty and art in the world around you!

Trying to describe the pain you feel from the loss of your dearest friend and helpmate in life: anything higher than 10?

If you knew Dianne, you may or may not have known that she had lived with chronic back pain (resulting from degenerative disc disease) for more than 25 years.  She was very good at masking the pain... and didn't like to complain or talk about her pain.

When she went to see her pain management doctor, she was always asked:  "How's your pain level today?"  She rarely answered "10", but when she did, I knew the pain was unbearable.

Yesterday, I was thinking about the kind of pain that I am feeling with the loss of Dianne, and I read this description written by a lady who had lost her husband:  "At times I could hardly breathe from the weight upon my chest."  

Yes, yes, that's it... a ton of grief carried on my chest!

In the same book, I read that "grief is like a river, and the journey is long.  No one can cross the river for you.  They may walk with you, encourage, or stand on the other side and call, but it's your journey and there is life on the other side."

And, on this journey, there are no shortcuts.  The last few days have definitely been "pain level 10" days.